This Weird Girl

I’m a dancing Christmas tree at our town parade tonight. As I was piecing my costume together, I had YouTube on in the background. THIS VIDEO  came up in the queue, and I just had to stop and make a comment.

Below, you will read my unedited* comments. Good luck.

“No. Bad advice hun. Forget the parents. Be realistic- look the problem in the face. By the time students show up in kindergarten, they’re already educationally and behaviorally comparable to a shelter dog. Parents got a puppy (novelty of having a baby), it exhausted them (first four years are tough), so they tied them up outside most the time (devices, educational neglect) and forgot about them. A couple years later the dog is surrendered to the shelter (public school) where they have to be put in individual kennels (because they’re wild, pooping and peeing, fighting with each other, jumping up on teachers… aka arguing) because that’s all they knew from puppy days- neglect. The new owner doesn’t go back to the previous owner to correct them or encourage them. We don’t call them. We don’t bother. Because they failed at their (educational) job. The new owner must do the hard work of reprogramming that dog. And that’s the part I think teachers are blindsided by. I can’t blame them!

Young adults have been sold a bag of marketing lies. “Come to our college and become a teacher! We desperately need your $80,000.” And the professors (who were educated in the old way), guided by all the research and curriculum and state standards that are also completely void of the realities in the classroom, do the most fantastic job of cramming the most well-researched techniques, progressions, and philosophies to pass licensing tests and propel teachers into the workforce.

New hires already know there are problems after the first couple of days of orientation. You’re not going to stand in front of a class “teaching.” You’re going to stand in front of a delinquent doggy daycare. And most of your jobs will be laundering urine soaked linens, scrubbing poop kennels, and sweeping up spilled kibble. You will be covered in slobber and scratches. And if you try to initiate behavior training, the dogs will pull your arm off on the leash, or worse, bolt. All you can do is toss them treats (recess, accommodations, positive reinforcement, parties, incentives), and they’ll only establish a chemical dependence on dopamine. Nothing intrinsic. The obedient dogs, surrendered because their parents died, will be neglected because their kennels are tidy and they don’t bark (get your attention). They just sit there and (educationally) rot.

The solution is not a better curriculum or a better app. The solution is to wipe the DOE clean. Better yet, shut them down and let the teachers develop their own system. Admin is for overseeing, not imposing. I firmly believe the teachers are more than capable of figuring the mess out, if only they were free to do so.

Furthermore, educational expectations need drastic revision. It’s the Google/AI Era. No one needs to memorize ANYTHING. Even the doctors pull out their cell phones during visits because they can’t remember the less common treatments!! We don’t even memorize a phone number anymore!!

The new generation needs to know how to read, write, and work with numbers on the absolutely most BASIC level in elementary school. And I mean BASIC!! Write a sentence, but don’t teach grammar or sentence structure vocabulary. Teach kids how to talk properly, then write what they just said, with basic punctuation. Teach them how to wash laundry, cook basic foods, and the basics on how to not die (put monkey bars over concrete, bring back merry-go-rounds, and teach them how to swim for God’s sake!). Teach them first aid for when they fall off the equipment. Most of the early years, in place of memorizing useless facts (the war of 1812… I don’t even know what that is, and I’m almost 50!… Hold on, let me Google it… 12 seconds later… ok, got it) kids should be developing hobbies that will assist them in keeping sane as adults.

Middle school shouldn’t be much different. High school is a great time to teach how to manage our societal system- like medical paperwork and navigation, DMV, taxes, civic duty, how to navigate the justice system, mental health (group therapy), dealing with the older generation that youre dealing with today (thats scary), getting along with others, driving, how to be an employee, hygiene, how to rent an apartment. Leave the specialized academics to those who are interested, like math, science, language, and the arts.

Yes, they should have a general education class that touches on these things. But not big assignments about cell structure, Greek mythology, or probability and statistics. Damn, who needs that crap in everyday life except those who actually WANT to use them in their careers? ….. end rant.

P.S. Why don’t teachers nod to admin and parent, “Yes, Ma’am” and then just ignore the bull crap and do whatever they want? Are you afraid of getting fired? How is that worse than quitting? Besides, if the teachers would rally together, the schools CAN’T fire them all because they’d then have no teachers. Pool your money and get lawyers for the class action youll have to deal with. A media frenzy could be your best friend.

Come on, guys! Quit complaining and start changing! Where is your self-respect!?

Want to be a teacher? Get a business degree with a minor in education, then open your own non-profit school. Crowd the public system out.

*I lied. I used AI to edit all my grammar mistakes quickly. It took less than 90 seconds. I rest my case.